I'm pleased to see that I'm not bottom of the Squash rankings, but outraged
to see Royston ahead of me - of course I can beat him! (although I seem to
remember my last squash encounter with him was knee-limited so OF COURSE if
he did happen to beat me, or has done at any time in the past, that result is
obviously null and void, because if I had a fit knee I'd beat him easily, and
if I played squash more than once every whenever-Roy-shows-up then  of course
I would easily beat him. Probably, in fact, with one arm behind my back. In
fact, probably with one arm behind my back, sucking a kojak lolly, whilst
simultaneously having a quiet game of chess in the far corner of the court with
someone really good at chess, like that Carp blokey - what's his name? -
Casper? Or was that a computer animated ghost?? Anyway, that's the long and
short of it: I justify my position above Roy in the squash charts by the
sure fact that IF we played a game with me observing the above conditions
(subject to Casper the Ghost being available) and Roy being there as well,
in the same court, playing a game, of squash, then I would completely
trounce him, no questions asked and would also be giving Casper a very
awkward time with my neat little variation on the King's Gambit (accepted).

Jonnie.